"21 is more than 20" or "The Shameless Septuagenarian"

I had to go to my local Raley's yesterday to pick up a few essentials, specifically Sour Cream, Cashews and a replacement propane tank for my grill, and I was met with one of the great frustrations of our age: Old people who don't think the laws of the land apply to them.

I quickly grabbed my items and made a beeline for the express checkout when a kindly old lady swooped in front of me with a FULL CART of items. Chivalry obliged me to let her pass and I so I stood in line silently fuming as the cashier unloaded 21 individually bagged vegetables from this saintly matriarch's collection.

Upon reaching the 21st item I was to hear the cashier remark "You know ma'am this line is for 20 items only" to whit our geriatric grocery enthusiast responded "Oh shoot, I thought I had less..." She then proceeded to ask the clerk the locations of several other items which she couldn't find, guilting (with a sickly sweet smile) the employee into sending assistance to locate and retrieve said items. Admittedly this was so she could go through the checkout again but still I needed the bagger's help with my propane.

Our ancient antagonist then proceeded to pay with (you guessed it) exact CHANGE. Notice I said change and not cash. This crazy old Biddie was counting out nickles and dimes, all the while making adorable chit-chat concerning the weather, her dinner plans, and any amount of other pedantry, ad nauseam.

Bullshit.
1. She knew she had 21 items to begin with; she'd individually bagged them.
2. The express checkout lane is not for small talk. It is expressly labeled express for the express purpose of express.
3. Yes, you can pay with cash in the express lane, but it sort of defeats the damn purpose when you have to separate the dimes from the coughdrops in front of everyone.
4. The shameless gall of this woman in asking for further assistance! I needed the bagger to unlock the propane for me!

Bah! To all the sweet old Grandmothers reading this blog: "LEARN THE RULES!!!"

-T